He was Killed by Love
by Dustdruff
Summary: Sirius is hiding a dark secret from his godson. Remus is the only one who knows. When he is exposed, will he have anyone left to go to?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I had ideas in my head involving Sirry that needed to come out. X3 Don't flame me for centering this story around a murder. Enjoy!

"I killed someone."

That was all Sirius Black could think about. He _killed_ someone. Not with magic, but with his own bare hands. He didn't think he could do it. He never thought he had the nerve.

He killed Draco Malfoy. For several years, Draco had been picking on his godson, Harry Potter. It was so much more than typical school bullying. He broke Harry's nose once, even left him with some bruises. Harry was scared of his father, Lucius.

For several years, he hid his scars. He was too ashamed to tell anyone, he was even hesitant to confess the fact to his godfather. He didn't really confess, Sirius had noticed his bruises over time, and became more and more concerned. One day, when he could not handle seeing Harry in his condition any longer, he had a talk with him:

_It was a Thursday evening, and Sirius had gotten full custody of Harry by now. Harry knew him for three years, but had only been living with him for a year. He was 15. He had come home from his best friend Ron Weasley's house, looking completely exhausted._

_"Everything alright? How's Ron and his family?" Sirius asked, but got no reply for a few minutes. "Fine...they're fine." Harry responded a little nervously, his hands shaking. Why was he wearing a hoodie on a late, hot summer night?_

_"Harry, are you okay?" Sirius was straightforward, and looked him in the eyes. Harry wasn't talking to Sirius much anymore, and he needed to find out why._

_Harry's face went pale, and he looked a bit shocked, "I-i'm fine, Sirius. Really." Sirius didn't believe him. "Look, just don't worry about me Sirius, okay? I'm going to be fine." He didn't give Sirius a chance to respond, and walked up to the room that Sirius had turned into a bedroom for him._

_He flopped down on the bed, and started to cry into his pillow. He knew Sirius was concerned, but he was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. He wasn't supposed to cry. He wasn't supposed to let anybody pick on him. Why was Draco doing this to him? More importantly, why was he allowing himself to be beaten up?_

_Sirius knocked on Harry's door. "Harry, I need to talk to you. Please let me in." He heard the boy's soft cry, and opened the door. He saw Harry with his face buried in the pillow, absorbing his tears. He knelt down, and gently laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry raised his tear stained face and looked at Sirius. "I hate Draco Malfoy." Those were his words before he flung himself at his godfather's chest. Sirius held him where he was, and slowly rocked him._

_After Harry calmed down some, Sirius had Harry tell him what Draco was doing, and made Harry show what he was hiding. Scars. Sirius' own eyes were filling with tears; he couldn't bear the thought of Harry being physically harmed, or harming himself. "How long, Harry? How long has this been happening?"_

Harry would, or at least should be, happy that Draco will no longer be in his life. However, he knew his godson would have a hard time accepting the fact that Sirius had a committed a crime, one that he truly was guilty for. A murder driven by love.

How would he keep it a secret? Not only would Harry not see him around England, he wouldn't see him at Hogwarts after the summer.. and he knew he couldn't take Harry out of school. What would Remus Lupin think? His best friend, a murderer.

~Flashback~

Sirius didn't give Draco a proper burial, instead he threw him in the river, something that could surely convict him if anyone found his body. He then dived into the river, pulled out a small knife, and stabbed Draco's corpse repeatedly in the face. He cut off his nose, cut off his hair, and cut off his eyebrows.

By now, Draco was unrecognizable. The only thing that could identify him were his eyes, and his robes, which Sirius would properly dispose of. But his eyes...what if someone opened them and recognized him? He poked out Draco's eyes with the knife. He then pulled his eyes out of their sockets, and wrapped them up in Draco's robes.

He proceeded to clean the knife with Draco's robes. He wrapped that up. He stared one last time at his corpse, and swam to the surface, pulling his own robes over his face as he did.

~End Flashback~


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2 up. I didn't think I'd be starting another story again so soon. Enjoy!

Sirius enjoyed his evenings with Harry. His mood was slowly improving, and he wasn't even hiding his scars any more. In time, they were fading away. Even Remus came over some nights, and would hang out with them. Harry still needed a lot of support from Sirius; he would still get the occasional nightmare, emotional mood swing. Sirius knew he couldn't keep Draco's death a secret forever. Harry was happy again, he didn't want to ruin that.

"It seems like the greasy git has fallen off the face of the earth," Harry said one afternoon, picking at his food. "Lucius sure isn't happy about it." Sirius nodded, but kept a straight face. "I'm just glad you're alright now, Harry. I never want you to go through what you did ever again." Harry smiled in his direction, but his face suddenly turn solemn. "Sirius...what if...he reappears one-" He's cut off my Sirius' finger on his lip. "Shhh. I promise you, Harry, he won't be bothering you anymore. Don't worry yourself. Now, would you care for some tea?" Harry nodded, still slightly concerned. Sirius was probably right. Draco was gone, and he would never come back. He was sure of it.

As Sirius put on a pot of tea, he was looking carefully at Harry, who appeared to be slightly dazed. "Harry." He spoke softly, and regained his attention. Sirius gave him a warm smile, and went to sit by him. Sirius didn't want him out of his sight, not for a second. "You're welcome to sleep in my bed with me, if you don't want to be alone." Sirius hadn't brought that up since Harry was a young teen, suffering from almost constant nightmares. Back then, he always was in his comforting godfather's arms. He still hasn't outgrown them, but he was older now, and felt it was a tad inappropriate.

"Ar'n't I a little old to be sleeping with you?" Harry asked, puzzled. Sirius chuckled, "You're never too old for a little god fatherly love, Harry." Harry smiled, reliving the nights he would sleep with Sirius in his head. "I think I'll be okay, tonight. Thanks, though." He and Sirius both hoped he would be okay.

Sirius got up and grabbed the hot pot of tea, almost spilling it on himself. "Here's your tea, he told Harry as he got out two mugs and filled them with sweet tea. "Thanks," Harry grabbed his cup, and sipped slowly. "I have no idea what I would do with myself if I didn't have a godfather like you, Sirius." That brought tears to his eyes, and he smiled at Harry, blinking them away. "I'll always be here for you, even when you're grown and have a family of your own." Harry laughed. "I think I'll be fine living with you even when I have a good job." Sirius had wanted that more than anything, to spend the rest of his days with his godson, but at the same time, he wanted Harry to spread his wings, have the life that he never could have. Harry got up, his mug in his hand, and went to exit the kitchen. "I think I'm going to read before I sleep, good night Sirius." He watched Harry walk to his room, and finished sipping his tea.

That night, Harry had struggled to fall asleep. He had the oddest feeling that something wasn't right. Like someone, or something, was going to torment him now that Draco wouldn't. He tried to shake the thoughts from his head, but they wouldn't leave. He didn't want to wake Sirius up over nothing. He closed his eyes, and slowly drifted off to sleep. However, his slumber was far from peaceful.

_Harry found himself in a strange place. As if he hasn't been in enough of those. Something was different about this place, though. He couldn't easily recognize where he was, but he was somewhere in the woods. The trees all around him were bare, the sky a listless white. It wasn't snowing, nor was it raining. There wasn't even a cloud in the sky._

_On one of the bare trees, there was a sign. The letters were faded, he had to get closer to the sign. As he walked closer to the tree, the letters became more and more clear. The sign read, 'MALFOY' and Harry froze dead in his tracks. "Haaaaarrrrrryyyyyyyy!" He heard a distant male voice, a familiar voice. Draco's voice._

_He turned, and saw Draco appear before his very eyes. "You can't escape from me, Harry. I'm always watching you. You can run, but you can never hide." Draco gave his trademark smile, and lunged towards Harry. Harry yelled, and started to run away. Draco was going to hurt him again, or worse, kill him._

_He had to get away, he just HAD to. But there was no way out. Harry backed up against a tree, watching as Draco was getting closer and closer. This is it, Harry thought. I'm dead. No one can save me, I'm done for. Harry braced himself for an attack, and watched as a Serpent was dancing out of Draco's mouth, hissing at Harry. Then, the serpent attacked him._

Harry woke up, scared and screaming. His entire body was shaking and sweating. He swore to himself that he wouldn't have anymore nightmares. He bent over his bed and threw up. Sirius, cooking breakfast, heard Harry's scream. He dropped what he was doing, and rushed to his room. "Harry!" Sirius burst into his room, running at him. Harry was bent over his bed, his head in his hands. Sirius sat down on his bed, and pulled him into his lap.

"Was it another nightmare?" He asked, even though he already knew that it was. "Harry nodded through Sirius' robes, and softly said, "I'm so tired of these dreams, Sirius. I won't be surprised if I actually die in real life from a dream." Sirius held him tighter. "You won't die, Harry. I'll make sure of it. Want to talk about your dream?" Harry nodded, surprisingly. Usually, he wouldn't be so eager.

He walked with Harry into the kitchen. They both perked up at the smell of the waffles Sirius was cooking in the toaster. "Smells good," Harry sniffed. "are they Blueberry?" Sirius smiled, and put a stack on a plate he took out of the cupboard. He poured syrup all over them, just the way Harry liked it. He put the plate in front of Harry, grabbing his own plate and taking a seat next to him.

"So, what did this dream involve?" Sirius began, watching Harry's reactions, making sure he wasn't hurting him. Harry breathed, and began. "Well, I was in a strange forest. The trees were bare, and the sky looked very odd." "Odd?" Sirius jumped in. "Yes, there were no clouds, and no blue sky. It just looked...white. Anyway, I noticed a sign, but i couldn't read it at first. As I got closer, the sign read 'Malfoy'." Sirius froze on the inside, but kept his composure. "I got the most horrible feeling that he was around, Sirius. I heard a voice that sounded like Draco's, calling my name." Sirius placed his hand on his shoulder. "I turned around, and there he was. He seemed to appear out of nowhere. Then he started telling me I could never escape him, that he is always watching me. And last, his serpent tongue attacked me. That's when I woke up."

Sirius looked a little shocked, wondering if Harry would put two and two together. "Are you okay, Sirius?" Harry asked, and Sirius cleared his mind, looking at him. "The real question is, are you?" Harry nodded. "I am, but what if I dream it again? Is it okay that I sleep with you tonight, just this once?" Sirius smiled, and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed to sleep with your dear old godfather, now." Harry blushed, "I'm not embarrassed!" They both laughed and went about their day.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I notice I made some tabbing mistakes in the last chapter, I apologize. Also, I forgot my Disclaimer, I own nothing except for the idea of the story. Enjoy!

"If you love him, you'll tell him the truth. Don't let him find out the hard way."

Remus spoke quietly to Sirius the next morning. His relationship with Sirius was becoming strained. He had only just found out that week about what Sirius had done, and almost walked out on him when he told him. "He's still young, Remus. If you were his age, how would you react to someone you love killing someone you knew?" Remus' facial expression didn't change. "I would want you to tell me as soon as it happened." They heard footsteps coming from the upper floor.

"Good morning," Harry chirped, gracefully walking down the stairs. "What's for breakfast?" Same old Harry, Sirius thought. You wouldn't think he was hurting himself just weeks prior. Remus nudged Sirius in the arm, and he returned a stern, I'm-not-going-to-mention-anything glance. "What would you like?" Remus asked, offering to cook for him to avoid the awkward silence going any further.

"Some eggs, and a couple slices of bacon, please." Remus smiled softly, and headed to the fridge. Harry took his usual seat at the table, and Sirius joined beside him. "How did you sleep?" Sirius asked him. "Good, actually. No nightmares." Sleeping with his godfather gave him more comfort than he cared to admit.

"I told you there was nothing wrong with sleeping with Sirry." Harry blushed, he knew Sirius was trying to make him uncomfortable. He jabbed him with a fork. "Ow!" Sirius grabbed his arm where he had been pricked. "What was that for?" Harry laughed, and he could see a smile forming on his lips.

Remus had been listening to their conversation as he began cooking Harry's food. Why did Sirius want to ruin something like that? It would be cruel if Harry never knew, and if Sirius got convicted of murder right from under him. He had to do something, for Harry's sake.

He cared a great deal for Sirius, as well. However, he couldn't bear to see Harry lose him now. Remus made a promise that he would take care of Harry in the event of Sirius' death. That didn't mean he couldn't protect him.

About fifteen minutes later, the food was done. Harry could smell it. "That smells delicious, you should be a wizard chef!" Remus blushed. He did have better than average cooking skills, but he never wanted to pursue a career in Culinary. His expertise lies in DADA. He scraped Harry's food from the pan onto a clean plate.

Remus put Harry's plate in front of him. "Did you want anything, Sirry?" Remus asked apologetically. He shook his head. He was too concerned with his thoughts to eat. "You had better eat, Sirius." Harry demanded, suddenly looking serious. He often was scared by that look, and got up from the table. "I'll get something myself, but thanks for the offer." He walked over to the fridge, and looked in it for a few minutes, pretending to be searching for food.

Harry got up from his seat, and pulled Remus into the next room, and spoke to him in a hushed voice. "Something is up with Sirius. He's been acting this way for weeks. What's going on?" Remus bit his lip. Should he tell Harry the truth?

If he lied, Harry would never forgive him. If he told the truth, he risked his best friend being hurt. Sirius had to tell him, right now. He could not put it off any longer. "Let's get Sirius in here, Harry. Oh, and please, sit down." Harry sat on the couch, waiting for him to grab Sirius. Remus walked back into the kitchen, and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"We have to tell him. He's worried about you, you know." Sirius raised his voice, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" making Remus flinch. Harry heard him, and wandered into the kitchen. "What's going on, Sirius? I want to know." Both of the older men went pale, when suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Sirius went to open the door, not looking at Harry. He turned the knob, and saw Lucius Malfoy standing on his porch. "Hello, Black." Sirius, half shocked and half annoyed, replied, "What do I own this fine visit, Malfoy?" Lucius chuckled under his breath.

He didn't look any different since the disappearance, or death, rather, of his son. Sometimes Sirius didn't think Lucius even cared for Draco in a fatherly manner. "Don't shower me with fake kindness, Black. I was just wondering if you knew anything about where Draco could have disappeared to." Sirius didn't let his hesitation show. "I don't know. I only knew of him disappearing because my Harry wasn't being bullied by him, anymore."

Lucius smirked. "Thanks." He shut the door in Sirius' face. Something deep inside of him didn't believe him, not for a minute. "I don't think he believed you," Harry broke the silence. "He looked like he got angrier." Sirius decided to finally look at him. "I'm not lying, he never liked me." Remus kept his disapproval to himself, and didn't want to believe that his best friend just lied to his godson, and to a dangerous man.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Here's chapter 4. Enjoy!

After talking with Lucius, Sirius did not talk much that day, and retired to his room early. Remus' words were burning in his mind like a fire. He knew he needed to tell Harry, but he was scared. Scared of losing Harry. Both options, tell Harry himself, or letting Remus tell him first, looked bad.

There was someone outside his bedroom door. "Go ahead, come in." He called to whomever it is, which turned out to be Remus. The look on his face was not a happy one. "Sirius Orion Black, how could you lie to Harry?" Sirius was shocked; Remus had never been upset with him. "I have to protect his feelings, Remus!"

"Protect his feelings? Feelings of what? Secret feelings toward Malfoy? Do you honestly think he's going to be upset that you killed him?" Remus fumed, and heard footsteps approaching the door. "Look, here he comes. Why don't we just tell him already? What's the worst that could happen?" Harry knocked on the door.

Sirius had a bad feeling in his gut, but decided to talk to Harry about Draco. "Come in, Harry. We want to talk to you." Remus called out. Harry entered, and sat down beside Sirius. "What's going on, Sirius? Please tell me. I'm your godson." Sirius' eyes began to get wet. "No, please don't cry," Harry squeezed him tightly. "I promise, whatever it is, I won't get mad." Sirius gulped, and spoke. "Harry...I-the reason you haven't seen Draco is...because he isn't around anymore." Sirius breathed. "What do you mean, 'isn't around anymore'? Harry replied, puzzled.

"Harry...I killed Draco Malfoy. I did it for you, so that YOU would be safe." Harry was speechless. Sirius...killed Draco? For him? Harry struggled with his next words. "You...you let me worry all this time...about whether he was going to surprise attack me...and all along, he was dead? Sirius...I…" Harry couldn't finish his sentence, and the tears came rushing down his cheeks.

Sirius pulled him into a tight hug. "Harry I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier. I'm a horrible godfather." Harry pulled away from him, and shouted, "No! You're not! You're not horrible! You've saved me from a miserable life!" Harry ran out of the room, down the hallway into his own room, and slammed the door shut. He threw himself on the bed, and sobbed violently.

"I told you I would upset him…" Sirius quietly told Remus. "Leave...please. Just leave. I can't look at you right now." Remus sighed, and walked out. There was no point in arguing. He did, however, want to check on Harry. He couldn't stop him from doing that. He knocked on Harry's door.

"Harry? Can I come in?" Harry heard him, and got up. He opened his door and said, "Why didn't you tell me, Remus? Obviously, Sirius wasn't going to." Remus walked into his room, grabbed Harry's hand, and sat down on his bed. "Harry. Sirius loves you. Very much. You know that, right?" Harry looked down, and said. "If that's true, why couldn't he tell me as soon as it happened? I thought we could tell each other anything.." He trailed off, tearing forming in his eyes again.

"I know it's hard, Harry. I urged him to tell you. If he wasn't going to, I was. He wanted to protect you, it seems." Harry looked at Remus. "I can't stand to see the two of you hurt. I know Sirius is your family, but I love you as well, Harry. I want to look out for you just as much as he does." Harry gave him a hug, and got up. "I'll go apologize." Remus nodded his way, and walked out of the room with him.

Harry knocked on Sirius' door. "Sirius? I'm sorry I acted the way I did. Please come out." Sirius got up, and opened the door and flung his arms around Harry, almost picking him up. "You don't have to apologize. I should be the one acting like a father figure. Has Remus left?" Harry shook his head. "I'm sorry for getting mad at him, he was just trying to talk sense into me."

Remus had heard the remark and walked into his room. "All is forgiven, friend." He smiled at both of them."Are you okay, Harry?" Harry thought for a moment. "I don't know. I mean, I'm glad Malfoy is dead and all, but...what if somebody finds out?"

"No one will find out. You and Remus are the only ones who know, and I intend to keep it that way." Harry smiled softly. He could only hope Sirius was right. Unfortunately, someone had a handy pair of Extendable Ears.


End file.
